Guess the Quote

"Yeah? Well if you were me then I'd be you! And I'd use your body to get to the top! You can't stop me no matter who you are."

"A Jose Canseco bat? Tell me you didn't pay money for this."

"Why do keep calling me Jesus? Do I look Puerto Rican to you?"

"Congratulations. I'm a hundred years old."

"Face it, girls; I'm older and I have more insurance."

"Hello, security? ...Merry Christmas!"

"Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something. I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention."

"Excuse me for not knowing about El Salvador, like I'm ever going to Spain anyway."

"You are fart factory, Slug-slimed, sack-of-rat-guts-in-cat-vomit, cheesy, scab-picked, pimple-squeezing finger bandage. A week old maggot burger with everything on it and flies on the side!"

"Drug dealers? Did you see their clothes? Drug dealers wouldn't be caught dead in those polyester rags."